About love

Before - You take my breath
After - I feel like I'm suffocating

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football

Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars
After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

Before - The Sound of Music
After - The Sound of Silence

Before - It's like I'm in a dream
After - It's like he's in my nightmare

Before - $60/dozen
After - $1.50/stem

Before - We agree on everything!
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Charming and Noble
After - Chernobyl

Before - Ideal
After - Idle

Before - Blind
After - Nearsighted

Before - Oysters
After - Fish sticks

Before - Twice a night
After - Twice a month

Before - Don't stop
After - Don't start

Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
After - It's like he lives in a dorm

Before - We agree on everything
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Victoria's Secret
After - Fruit-of-the-Loom

Before - Feathers and handcuffs
After - Ball and chain

Before - I love a woman with curves
After - I never said you were fat

Before - He's completely lost without me
After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagel and instant

Before - You look so seductive in black
After - Your clothes are so depressing

Before - Oysters
After - Fish sticks

Before - Passion
After - Ration

Before - Once upon a time
After - The end