The married names list

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the '90's!, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.

If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.

If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale. (This one may take a little longer to get)

If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."

If Wanda Hughes married Henry Kissinger ... she could sing "I'm Wanda Hughes Kissinger now!"

If a Palestinian married a Swede, what might they name their male offspring? Yassir Youbetcha!

If Bela Abzug married Bela Lugosi? She would be Bela Lugosi.

If Carmen Miranda married Yves Montand ... when she combed her hair, would she be Carmen Miranda Montand when she combs?

If Ella Fitzgerald and Darth Vader got married, would she be Ella Vader?

If Ella Fitzgerald married Allen Funt (of Candid Camera fame), she'd be "Ella Funt."

If Farrah Fawcett married James Cann ... She'd be Farrah Cann and would be eligible for the next Million-Man March.

If Frank Stella (famous artist) married Stella Frank (great niece of Anna), she'd be Stella Stella and he'd be Frank Stella-Frank.

If Hank Snow married June Carter it would be the first time there'd ever been six inches of Snow in June.

If Heidi married Don Ho, divorced him and married Jim Nabors, She'd be Heidi Ho Nabors.

If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, she would be Ivana Diamond. What if Ivana divorced Neil diamond and married Jack Nicklaus, she would be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus. Or, if she forgoes Jack and marries Red Sox third baseman Tim Naehring, she could be Ivana Diamond Naehring Darling.

If Kitty Wells married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty Twitty.

If Pia Zadora married Ronnie Lott she'd be Pia Lott.

If Sonny Bono married Yoko Ono, she will be known as ...Yoko Ono Bono.

If the old B movie actress Tuesday Weld married John March III, she'd be Tuesday, March the Third.

If Whoopie Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopie Cushing.

If Lisa Kudrow married baseball player Chuck Carr, she'd be Lisa Carr.

If Rangers outfielder Rusty Greer married Bill Gates, he'd be Rusty Gates.

If McGruff the Crime Dog married Fred McGriff he'd be McGruff McGriff.

If Frank Thomas married pitcher Robb Nen and then author R. L. Stine, he'd be Frank Nen Stine.