Driving

1 Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
2 Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
3 Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
4 Keep at least five cats in the car.
5 Stop and collect roadkill.
6 Stop at the green lights.
7 Go at red ones.
8 Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
9 Wear a Chicken suit.
10 At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.