General jokes

 
 
You and your boss
Differences between you and your boss.
The stop sign and the cop
A guy blows a stop sign and gets caught by a policeman.
A voice from above
This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above.
A story about everybody
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
Baby-worm
Little Johnny sat playing in the garden.
New company program
I wanted to share with you a new program the company I work for is instituting.
Turtle
"Mommy, my turtle is dead," Little Johnny sorrowfully told his mother.
Shriner convention
Little Johnny's father had just returned home from a business trip.
A little old lady in a bus
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl.
Picking a starting salary
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT about a starting salary.
Three old ladies
Three old ladies are walking down the street.
An old man on the park bench
An old man is sitting on the park bench crying.
Impotent
97 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed.
Just move in together
An elderly couple, living apart, had been dating for several years.
A house and a dog
A poor lady won a lottery.
A tie in the desert
A traveler became lost in the Sahara desert.
Annoying Boy On Bus
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling...
The perfect son
A talk about the perfect son.
Three couples
Three couples went to a resturant.
Having a wank
A cop caught Little Johnny having a wank in the long grass.
The little guy in a bar
A man walks into a bar and says...
History of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com...
Cake
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen...
Two cannibals meet one day
Two cannibals, Handible and Elbob meet one day.
Problems printing yellow
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when...
Bowl of chili
A homeless man walks into a diner with enough change for a cup of coffee.
Suck dick
Little Johnny and two of his friends were sitting on a front porch one day after school.
Pea soup
A grandma was making her grandkids pea soup and she ran out of peas so she used bee-bee's.
Espresso and a syringe
This guy goes into a restaurant.
Machines
Little Johnny asked his mother...
A dish of nuts on the bar
A guy goes into a bar.
Tobacco stains
Two little boys were sitting on the porch.
The buccaneers
It was Halloween, and a little boy, who had a speech impetament was out Trick-or-Treating.
A blind man interviews
A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill.
Stoli with a twist
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.
Fishing with grandfather
Little Johnny and his grandfather are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees.
The first time in an airplane
My brother-in-law is a little bit on the crazy side...
Five $100 bills
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall.
A happy old man
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
How to cook a turkey
The Thanksgiving Special.
The facts of life
The man and his son are talking about the facts of life.
King's three wishes
A king travels through the desert.
A new waitress
A manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress.
Candy
Little Johnny is walking down the street when a car pulls up.
Grey hair
A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair.
Indian toilet paper
An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper.
Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing
It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do.
A beaver
A little girl, Janie is becoming inquisitive about life.
Nutrition information
For those of you who watch what you eat...
S&M magazine
One morning, Little Johnny's mother was cleaning his room, and she found an S&M magazine under his bed.
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