General jokes

 
 
A little boy is playing with his train
This little boy is playing with his train set and his mom iss in the kitchen.
A carrot and a celery stalk in a car accident
A carrot and a celery stalk got married, and after a particularly wild wedding reception took off in their car for their honeymoon.
There is a girl named...
There is a girl named Fakahada. Her mother becomes ill one day.
We move anything
Little Johnny paints a sign: WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A DIME.
A stolen car
A lovely young couple is doing some shopping in town.
A technical bastard
A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time.
The shop
A man on a lonely weekend, decides to go to the nearby Whore house to get some late night action.
Insurance salesman
One day an insurance salesman knocked on the door.
A very small genie in the pocket
Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so...
The hippie, nun and bus driver
One day a hippie gets on a bus and sits next to a nun.
Three gay men died
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Who am I?
A very dirty Little Johnny came in from playing in the yard.
The Garden of Hedon
As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards...
The fathers brag about their sons
Four men went golfing together one day.
A man talks to the devil
A man dies and goes to Hell.
Indecent proposal
The train was travelling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment.
The long names
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names?
30-40 years left
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills.
God takes a holiday
God is sitting up in his ivory tower, tired and worn out.
A blind boy
A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother.
Nice smelling hair
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day...
100% smarter
Three men are trapped on an island.
A hole in the wall
A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice...
A cowboy and his horse
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Hot Lips and Tender Kisses
A girl is driving along the expressway listening to the radio when she hears a song she really, really likes.
Tim and a thief
One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him.
The elephants in the city
A man is driving on a city bus with a newspaper on his knee.
A conversation in a plane
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny...
A magic pool
There were these three guys.
Timbuktu
The National Poetry Contest had come down to semi-finals between a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming.
Two drunks and a hotdog
Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they should buy a beer with their last dollar.
Mr. Gay
An employee of US Airway with the last name of Gay boarded a US Airway flight with a free travel voucher.
Big testicles
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
A gay bar
This straight guy walks into a bar.
A scientist and hell
A Scientist, an Evangelical preacher, and an average Joe all die.
A Cub Scout
A Cub Scout trop was half an hour late to its den meeting...
A man drinking by himself
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.
The wisest people
A village gathered together its wisest people one day, and decided to test them.
Ten dollars
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling.
A Blind Mans Sport
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting.
The California cowboy
A cowboy from Montana and a cowboy from California are on a sheep drive.
Disney World
My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation.
A black boy
A little boy asked his mother...
Slogans for women
1.I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Chess enthusiasts
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel.
Happy bloke
Ugly bloke walks into a bar with a big grin on his face.
Miracle Toddler Diet!
Miracle Toddler Diet! Guaranteed Results.
31?32?
The new dean responded to investigations into the basketball team by suspending any basketball player who wasn't maintaining a passing average.
Childhood of Yore
I want to be a kid again.
The use of the car
A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and...
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