General jokes

 
 
Revealing gift test
Which gift would you like?
A call from a drunk guy
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
Two men from Ireland
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
Health warning labels
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!
Old country delivery
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
A pizza in the stomach
A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along.
Bar room translations
Now you'll know what people really mean.
A drunk and a ghost
The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test.
Bosomly challenged
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size.
The arrow
A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street.
History of Valentine's Day
From ancient times to modern.
A very cold night
On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel.
A cripple
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
An upset monk
In a monastery, a new monk takes a vow of silence.
Next to a drunk in a bar
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar.
Circumcision
Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room.
Peanuts
A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation.
God and Michael Jackson
A minister was sitting reading the newspaper, and listening to the ball game on the television when...
No elevator
Drunk walks into elevator.
Men went fishing
Two Morons rent a rowboat, row out a way, throw their lines in and try fishing.
So drunk
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car.
Tame the lion
A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer.
When you're drunk
Things that are difficult to say...
Nobel Prize
A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
Naming choice
There was a lady and she had three children.
Double vodka
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodka."
Wrong joke
A traveling salesman's car breaks down, and he walks over to a near by farm.
Feminine side
Bob, who's gay, decides to go out for a good time and ends up at a gay bar.
Children's Prayer
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
A drink except a gay guy
A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a bar one evening.
Drink of water
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
A woman starts to choke
A woman orders a chicken sandwhich and starts to choke.
Blood test
Two children were sitting outside a clinic.
In love with a horse
A worried patient went to his psychiatrist.
On the bus
There was a man on the bus and he was sitting down when a fat lady...
A ponytail
Two gay male lovers were talking.
At state penitentiary
These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years.
No time to rest
A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island.
Liven up a meeting
Top 10 tricks to liven up a meeting.
Falling asleep at your desk
Top 10 excuses for falling asleep at your desk.
Redneck on a computer
10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer.
Long-lost friends who meet again
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years.
A new virus
There is a new virus. The code name is WORK.
An Internet geek
10 signs your an Internet geek.
The only wish
Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean.
Crazy
A young man with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits next to an old man on a park bench.
A WIFE
Some people are sitting in a bar.
Religion, royalty, sex and mystery
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing four elements...
Baby planes
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
About movies
Things you wouldn't know without movies.
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