School jokes
Path: Directory |School jokes |
To bring home
College habits to bring home.
College habits to bring home.
A little practice in the morgue
A student of proctology is in the morgue one day after classes, wanting to get a little practice in before the final exams.
A student of proctology is in the morgue one day after classes, wanting to get a little practice in before the final exams.
Earth science class
Little Johnny's earth science class teacher was lecturing on map reading.
Little Johnny's earth science class teacher was lecturing on map reading.
Substitute
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.
A brick
The teacher was having a creative writing lesson in her English class.
The teacher was having a creative writing lesson in her English class.
Too smart for first grade
Johnnie says, "I'm too smart for the first grade.
Johnnie says, "I'm too smart for the first grade.
SURPRISE!
A kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
A kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
About whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
Sweet Semen
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A double-barrel
Little Johnny kept disrupting his third grade class by letting loud farts, so his teacher kept him after school.
Little Johnny kept disrupting his third grade class by letting loud farts, so his teacher kept him after school.
How God created everything?
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Summer holidays
It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher was trying to get to know her students.
It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher was trying to get to know her students.
Good Samaritan
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
A very difficult essay exam
A clever student is taking an essay exam.
A clever student is taking an essay exam.
How to write 55?
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
The products of the West Indies
The teacher asked a student about some produkts of the West Indies.
The teacher asked a student about some produkts of the West Indies.
The final test
One teacher said this to his students before the final test.
One teacher said this to his students before the final test.
A sentence that starts with an "I"
A difficult question.
A difficult question.
About heaven
One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class...
One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class...
A child's view of retirement
After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays.
After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays.
Finding the Lord
A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ...
A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ...
The Earth Science
The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading.
The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading.
The math
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
The full jar
A philosophy professor stood before her class and had some items in front of her...
A philosophy professor stood before her class and had some items in front of her...
An unusual week
The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week.
The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week.
A field trip to the police station
An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station.
An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station.
The way to think
The teacher talks to little Tommy.
The teacher talks to little Tommy.
An atheist
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist.
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist.
Lunch at school
The son don't want go to school.
The son don't want go to school.
A kid's new baby brother or sister
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
A statue of Venus
The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks...
The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks...
A frog in a pocket
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology.
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology.
Seven rabbits
A teacher asks Paddy a question.
A teacher asks Paddy a question.
The babies
A young teenager comes home from school.
A young teenager comes home from school.
A sign down the road
A teacher is talking to Joseph.
A teacher is talking to Joseph.
The Grade 1 concert
The Grade 1 concert is fast approaching and Johhny has still not decidied what he will do.
The Grade 1 concert is fast approaching and Johhny has still not decidied what he will do.
Girl who talks too much
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school.
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school.
No nonsense from the kiddies
It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.
It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.
A sentence with the word definitely in it
Little Johnny was in class again.
Little Johnny was in class again.
Buckwheat and a word
One day the little rascals were sitting in school.
One day the little rascals were sitting in school.
One thing for Christmas
It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class.
It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class.
Educating Johnnie
Eight year old Johnnie came home from school one day.
Eight year old Johnnie came home from school one day.
I don't want to go to school!
Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
What's sex?
A little boy returning home from his first day at school.
A little boy returning home from his first day at school.
Moses
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.
A kilometre
Peter defines a kilometre.
Peter defines a kilometre.
Osama's Valentine
Little Josh comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
Little Josh comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
Potential & Reality
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.
Teacher Comments
The following are purported to be actual comments made by NYC teachers on their report cards as part of their final narratives.
The following are purported to be actual comments made by NYC teachers on their report cards as part of their final narratives.