Animals

 
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Two neighbors
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
A present for a son
On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son.
Two cats running together
There were two cats that enjoyed running together.
A penguin is driving through Arizona
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on.
A dog watching the movie
A man running a little behind schedule arrives at a picture theatre.
A night of romance
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.
Two eagles are soaring along
Two eagles are soaring along when suddenly a passenger jet screams past them.
A cross-eyed dog
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet.
A man rented a camel
A man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert.
Three dogs in the park
A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them.
A pair of parrots
A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes.
Women love cats
I've never understood why women love cats.
A letter to a small hotel
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
The insensitive gorilla
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
Man v.cat
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him.
Non-seeing Eye Dog
A blind man was seen waiting at a street corner with his guide dog.
A farmer feeding pigs
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm.
The Bear family
It's a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just waking up...
A snail buys a fast new car
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.
These chickens want books
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library.
A dog with no legs
A short joke.
Three very tough rats
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
A bad zoo
Ten Signs That You're At A Bad Zoo.
“Liver” and “cheese”
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
Two tigers
Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file.
Ugly lady
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
Intelligent dog
A dog walks into a butcher shop.
Three turtles
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic.
The bear joke
One day a bear was chasing a rabbit through the forest when...
The duck
One day there was three girls...
The king of the jungle
One morning the lion is feeling especially ferocious...
The cat scan
A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving.
A Centipede
Four animals a Snake, a Cock, a Cat and a Centipede, all heavy smokers, were playing cards together.
God, a bear and a hunter
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
A cow gives an advice
A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows.
A man with a newt
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
A family of bears at a divorce court
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.
Escape from a bear
There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
Protecting yourself
The department has posted the following notice...
Two Moscow hunters
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting.
Hunters from Prague
A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting.
A light bulb
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Polar Bear
One day a baby polar bear approaches his mother with a confused expression on his face and says ...
Baskin robins
Two robins were sitting in a tree.
Three nature lovers
Three nature lovers went for a drive into the mountains one day.
A dead rabbit
One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence.
Three bears
There were these three bears were out for a drive in a car.
A gorilla on the roof
A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof.
Cat goes to heaven
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven.
A zebra in a farm
There was a zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on in age so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.
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