Animals
Fairy Godmother
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life.
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life.
A Doberman and a Chihuahua
Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua.
Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua.
Cat and fish
Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.
Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.
A talking dog
This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale."
This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale."
Dog who played baseball
During the local match, a spectator was surprised to see a dog walk onto the pitch ...
During the local match, a spectator was surprised to see a dog walk onto the pitch ...
A snake's new glasses
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
A pet monkey and the cue ball
Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey.
Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey.
Energizer bunny dies
AP December 12, 1999 - The Energizer Bunny, known best for, "going and going and going..." passed away last evening ...
AP December 12, 1999 - The Energizer Bunny, known best for, "going and going and going..." passed away last evening ...
An old rooster
This farmer had an old rooster and he thought it might be time to get a new young rooster to service his hens.
This farmer had an old rooster and he thought it might be time to get a new young rooster to service his hens.
Short chicken jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
A blind rabbit and a blind snake
A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other.
A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other.
Running through the zoo..
There was a ape running around in a zoo and he see's this snake getting ready to roll a joint.
There was a ape running around in a zoo and he see's this snake getting ready to roll a joint.
A dog named Killer
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working.
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working.
Moo
A flock of sheep were grazing in a field by the road.
A flock of sheep were grazing in a field by the road.
A blind horse
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
A travelling ventriloquist and a farmer
A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next show.
A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next show.
Canine Card Shark
Two dog owners were bragging about the intelligence of their pets.
Two dog owners were bragging about the intelligence of their pets.
A missed tool
Lion finds that a tool is missing, he goes to animals and asks...
Lion finds that a tool is missing, he goes to animals and asks...
Pet Lobsters
After a day fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.
After a day fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.
A problem with the shit
A bear was taking the biggest shit of his life when he saw a rabbit...
A bear was taking the biggest shit of his life when he saw a rabbit...
Is that thing leaking?
A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday.
A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday.
A pair of tennis shoes
Two hunters were walking through a forest when a giant bear jumped out.
Two hunters were walking through a forest when a giant bear jumped out.
Cow trouble
A town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk.
A town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk.
A mother and baby camel are talking
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks...
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks...
Strange pet hot line questions
"My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering. . . how many calories are in a mouse?"
"My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering. . . how many calories are in a mouse?"
Artificial insemination
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon.
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon.
Cat on the roof
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week.
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week.
Animal football match
One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game.
One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game.
A lady who was concerned about her missing parrot
There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot.
There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot.
Bilingual dog
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.
The parrot's last owner
A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop...
A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop...
Octopus in the bar
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus.
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus.
A vampire bat in fresh blood
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
What type of snake
There where two snakes talking.
There where two snakes talking.
Two storks on a nest
Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him.
Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
Parrot Auction
One day a man went to an auction.
One day a man went to an auction.
A pet that can do everything
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.
Mad Cow's Disease
These two cows are in standing in a field.
These two cows are in standing in a field.
A cute little dog
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
A parrot in a plane
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
At the zoo
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo.
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo.
A man and the animals
God created...
God created...
A magician and a parrot in the ship
A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises...
A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises...
The piggies in a bar
Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask...
Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask...
A definition of panda
A panda walked into a bar.
A panda walked into a bar.
A farmer and the strange goat
Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole.
Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole.
“Who is it?”
A woman owned a parrot that could say only one thing – “Who is it?”
A woman owned a parrot that could say only one thing – “Who is it?”